You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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