just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
