Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
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