no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
