Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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