nut hugger
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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