she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
