I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
