Only a mothe r could love this liver
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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