My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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