isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
