Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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