last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
