11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You really coming over, don't trick.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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