By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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