I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
