the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I checked into jail on foursquare
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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