He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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