you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
