I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
