U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
we made out on top of his cat.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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