have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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