the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
