I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
