elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize