i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm determined to sit on that face.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize