I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
