I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize