I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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