apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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