Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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