I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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