Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
