oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
