You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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