hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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