it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize