i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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