the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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