i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
