do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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