Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Im part way to drunk.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
