If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Randomize
