I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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