These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
