Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think my moral compass just broke
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize