Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Sext me about skeletons
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
