I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
