She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize