I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Your cock deserves a montage
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
