Soap is not a condiment
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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