I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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