Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
