I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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