Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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