Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
