I am full of burrito and curiosity
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize