Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Randomize
