dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
