I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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