Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I understand Curling. That high.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
