I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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