Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
