You can't motorboat a personality
so let's talk penis.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
