i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
